Sunday, 22 May 2016

Desires or Fears

Desires or Fears.

What is more important? what we fear or what we desire/want? Either of these would often determine the choices we make. Desires and wants are those things we think we need in our lives, sometimes, at whatever cost. Fear however stops us from going for a person or thing we want. There is often a burning and perhaps pressing need to have those things. Sometimes the urge to have these things may not be pressing but they linger on on the surface or deeper most part of our emotions and soul.  Desires may or may not be things that we need to go through the day or life in general.  So they vary, they range wide and far. They could include such things as wanting a child, a Ferrari, a horse, a walk in closet, a new pair of shoes, a walk in closet again, a deeper relationship with God, a loving relationship with your spouse, a date with that boy/girl you have a crush on, a new phone or laptop, a new real estate deal, to see the president face to face, to graduate valedictorian, to change your couch, to be a world renowned scientist, to write a book, to drink the finest wine, to travel the world, to eat more meat than is in your plate now and even more. 

As with many things if not everything in life, we often have to make choices and forgo alternatives. So which impresses more upon us, our desires or our fears? For in striving to gain something we may loose something else. You could for example decide to date and even go on to marry someone against the wishes of your folks. On the flip side you may decide to leave your partner because the idea of them does not sit well with your family. 

If you choose to go on to become a world renowned scientist, you should expect that you may loose some friends along the way, not by virtue of them being bad, but because your dreams require your time, devotion and energy which you may or may not be able to share with your friends. There is the possibility that you would miss out on many fun events and would be considered a boring geek. What about finances? If you have a sponsor to bear some or all the burden of your research, fine and good. If you do not and can't envision a way to get the funds needed to move on, you may just decide to back out of that dream. 

How about having a nagging spouse? You may have a desire to ask something of or from them, but the precedence they have set may make you wonder in fear, if you should bother approaching them this fine morning with the issue you need to discuss. You know you really need to ask or discuss said issue to rid your guilt, to help the family move forward, to clear the air or whatever other reason. The tendency of your spouse to shout and then upset the peace in the home however, may make you wonder if bringing the issue up is worth it. 

The fear of parents, friends and family may be what drives a person. So rather than think of the benefits associated with passing a course, one may instead be driven by the fear of repeating, the fear of disappointing parents and the embarrassment from friends and colleagues. It would then seem the burden or fears of failing is a bigger drive in this instance, than the desire to succed .

How about starting up a business? You need capital to start up, if you take loan from a bank, the interest rest may be too high for a start up and you wonder if you are even going to make enough profit to pay back. Having wondered, you may decide to back out because of the fear of the financial debt that may arise. What if you soar though, what if you achieve your desire and dream after the struggle? What if you end up with no debt?

Desires should drive a person more. If you strive hard and deep enough for your desires you would have them met and perhaps the world would be better off (or not, depending on what those desires are). We should strive to be more. To do more. To improve ourselves, the people around us and the world in general. However at what cost? I guess that's where balancing comes in. What is worth losing to get what we want? 

Where should desire end and fear take over?

Food for thought.
Thank you for reading. 
Please share.

Faith. A.A

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